Joining us is Lisa Concepcion, founder of LoveQuest Coaching, who expertly dissects the dance of attraction, vulnerability, and the power dynamics between alpha females and alpha men. Together, we unwrap the complexities of navigating a world where strength meets softness, and leadership encounters receptivity.
As we sail through the waves of modern relationships, we uncover the parallels between iconic characters from 'Sex and the City' and the 'Rocky' series, illustrating the complementary energies that create powerful partnerships. We delve into the importance of balancing feminine grace with alpha ambition, both in the boardroom and in love. This episode is a treasure trove of insights for those alpha women seeking an equally formidable alpha male, highlighting the harmony of shared strength and the subtle art of feminine receptivity.
Tune in for this heartwarming exploration of love, empowerment, and the journey to finding someone who not only challenges but cherishes your alpha nature.
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FREE LOVE ASSESSMENT
Can an alpha woman attract an alpha man? Article
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Hosts:
Lisa
Bridget
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momismyemergencycontact@gmail.com
Check out the NEW YouTube Channel
Joining us is Lisa Concepcion, founder of LoveQuest Coaching, who expertly dissects the dance of attraction, vulnerability, and the power dynamics between alpha females and alpha men. Together, we unwrap the complexities of navigating a world where strength meets softness, and leadership encounters receptivity.
As we sail through the waves of modern relationships, we uncover the parallels between iconic characters from 'Sex and the City' and the 'Rocky' series, illustrating the complementary energies that create powerful partnerships. We delve into the importance of balancing feminine grace with alpha ambition, both in the boardroom and in love. This episode is a treasure trove of insights for those alpha women seeking an equally formidable alpha male, highlighting the harmony of shared strength and the subtle art of feminine receptivity.
Tune in for this heartwarming exploration of love, empowerment, and the journey to finding someone who not only challenges but cherishes your alpha nature.
CONNECT WITH LISA
WEBSITE
FREE LOVE ASSESSMENT
Can an alpha woman attract an alpha man? Article
INSTAGRAM
If you like this episode, please be sure to subscribe everywhere you listen to podcasts!
Hosts:
Lisa
Bridget
Send us your Lifetime Movie Special Stories
momismyemergencycontact@gmail.com
Check out the NEW YouTube Channel
Welcome to Ella Go. My name is Lisa. Join me on the journey in having real raw and uncomfortable discussions about fitness, health and everything in between, because, let's be honest, this journey would suck if we don't get our shit together. Love is in the air, and welcome to a special Valentine's Day edition of the Ella Go podcast. I am your host, lisa, and today we're diving deep into the magic and mystery of the alpha female and alpha male relationship. Can they coexist? Because we hear a lot of alpha women wanting this alpha man, but do they even know what an alpha male is and how to attract one? So in today's episode, we're going to discuss how alpha women can attract an alpha male. But we cannot do this without our expert and my special guest, lisa Concepcion. She is a certified life coach and founder of LoveQuest Coaching. Welcome, lisa.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for having me. This conversation is going to be so juicy. I'm so excited.
Speaker 2:I know and before we get into it, I want to first say I want to give a little background, because I found you, because I was doing research for myself and what I'm trying to understand what an alpha male is. Me being assertive and being an alpha female I wanted to know what can I do to attract an alpha male. And I came across you and I was reading some of your articles and I was like, oh shit, this is good. And then I'm like I'm talking to her further. So this is how you, you know, this is how I got you into this podcast, because I was doing my own little research. So, without further ado, why don't you give us some background, like how did you get started with coaching, especially with this topic and love in relationships?
Speaker 1:So I am a fellow alpha girl, alpha woman, 53, I'm too old to be a girl. So it all started for me when I got divorced in 2015 and I was codependent right, but I didn't know it at the time. So, as alpha as I was, it was much of a coping mechanism for the codependency. So it was a worldview that was like I have to do everything myself, Nobody can do it as good as me. Like I can't trust anybody. Like if I want something done, I got to do it right myself, get out of my way that type of attitude and it was very much rooted in how I was raised as a child.
Speaker 1:So fast forward, now I'm, you know, mid 40s, I'm getting divorced. Why? Because husband couldn't handle my alpha shit anymore, rightfully so. I'm not saying, like you know, it's a healthy way to be an alpha and there's an unhealthy way. I was the unhealthy way very combative, very confrontational, very just not settled in myself, just unsettled in myself, unfulfilled in myself, which we'll get into later. But this was my deal. So I want to kind of let everybody know the expert went through some shit, came out the other side and now helps other people get through their shit too.
Speaker 1:So that divorce that happened in 2015, it overlapped with a relationship with a narcissistic bipolar man, which is common right. When you're feeling at your worst, that's when you attract the worst right. So I fell into a triangulation with this man and his ex-girlfriend who he vilified through the entire relationship, but after only five months he just discarded me, goes back to her abruptly. And because I never really grieved my divorce, my 17 years with my husband, whatever, I just felt like this tidal wave of, like a smack in the face. Just it just came over me and it was just this excessive grief, guilt, shame, all these emotions. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I had sleep panics. I'd wake up in the night screaming and crying, whatever, it's just no good. And food aversions, which was the worst. I'm Latina. I like to eat, right. So come on, I can't have my beautiful postones and my beautiful mofongo and I'm like what the hell am I?
Speaker 1:what's going on? I can't eat, forget it.
Speaker 1:So I went to therapy because of this. I said, listen, this is affecting my health, so I have to see what's up. That's when I learned I was codependent and how it was all rooted in my childhood. So I decided at that point to pursue therapy to see what I can get out of that.
Speaker 1:And while I was doing that, simultaneously I started to dive in and becoming like my own detective about codependency and learning really what happened to me that made me show up as I did in relationships and why do I have such this fight or a flight, this go, get my shit, get out of my way, I want to do it myself kind of attitude. Right, I'm not receiving from people and it's really making people run away from me. So after a few you know, months of that, I basically was like it was 12 weeks and I started to take my journey public on social media to hold me accountable. So I was living in South Beach and I was kind of this like party girl, but yet I was separated from my husband and I still wanted my marriage to work out at the time.
Speaker 1:So once we got divorced, I was like, okay, girl you got to shut it down like no more parties, no more out until four AM at the clubs. Like you need to shut it down and start to really focus on getting right with you.
Speaker 1:So I did that, but to hold myself accountable. I started to share my journey on social media and then it started to resonate with people and then, from that, they wanted to talk with me. So they started to DM me and I was like, sure, let's have a call. Like not knowing anything, I was doing marketing at the time, you know, in public relations and whatever. So I wasn't even thinking about coach, you know. I was like, oh, maybe I'll do a marketing company and I'll help people like get their dating profiles on point for love, you know. But it wasn't anything like the serious that came later. So people started to want to pay me. I'm like, oh my God, like I don't even have a PayPal, like what do I do? So one of the people who found me online wanted to talk with me, decides to help me to set up my PayPal. So then I'm like, oh my God, like I feel responsible, like now I'm getting money for this. Like I need to be ethical, I need to figure out, like, do I continue doing PR and marketing and then maybe have a side hustle where I get certified as a coach? So that's what was this impetus of it? It just sparked the idea. So I connected with a friend of mine who I worked with in marketing, who became a coach very successful coach and she said, girl, I'm going to show you what I did and took me under her wing. She introduced me to the admissions director for the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching and I talked with them and I made the investment and I went all in. It took like a year a little under a year to get fully certified. Process was incredible.
Speaker 1:I did it at FIU in Miami, met amazing people and by 2017, I started to operate then as a certified love life coach. I focused on dating relationships, narcissistic abuse recovery, codependency recovery so all the things that I did. I started to share it and teach it and it caught on. So that was kind of what I sought out to do.
Speaker 1:I wanted to become the coach that I needed through the hardest times of my life, and so I thought of my teens and my 20s like what kind of coach would I be for that right, that moment in my life into my 30s, into my 40s, the divorce reinvention that I did. So I said, okay, let's think about who I want to serve and how. So that's what it was. That's my whole story. I've been coaching full time, 100%, since 2019. I founded LoveQuest Coaching and now I'm actually working on programs that are do it yourself, like courses at a much more affordable price, because not everybody can afford one on one, immersive coaching. So I want to also offer people something they can do for like 60 bucks, you know. Just get started on your healing.
Speaker 2:Lisa, okay, are you sure we're not from the same? Like okay. So the funny part is is that I'm listening to the story and it's like so it's the same thing for me. For running, like that's what I did. I so you did the love stuff and you did that on social media. I talked about how running helped me release my trauma from my divorce Girl. What the fuck.
Speaker 1:Girl, we are just rowing in the same canoe.
Speaker 2:See, okay, that's okay, that makes a lot of sense. And obviously you know when you think about, you know trauma, you know this reinvention, this rebirth. We learn and I love the fact that that I'm the same way you're learning yourself, and then you want to share it with everybody else to help those who were where you were many years ago. So I love that whole concept. So let's talk about the definition of alpha female and alpha male, because I honestly can say I I sometimes conflicted, like I don't, I don't fucking get it, like one minute, I think is is alpha male, like does that just mean someone who is like we're in a business too and he knows what he wants? And then I will be honest with you on this one alpha females, because I started learning more about alpha females and you know alpha females, there's a lot of women that say they're alpha females but they come off a little like kind of sending in rude and like they know that they know it all and I'm learning that that may not be an alpha female. So enlighten us.
Speaker 1:Okay. So I love what you're describing because there are versions. Okay, so there's the wounded alpha and the thriving alpha female and male, right? So when you have a alpha female, let's say, let's look at the one who's you know, just in general, we'll take them in general. So you have like the quintessential independent woman. She knows what she wants in life, she's ambitious, she's the creator of her own life, she makes things happen for herself, she speaks her mind and if she's wounded she can speak in that condescending, very masculine in your face kind of a firm tone.
Speaker 1:That's very off-putting. She takes the lead, she can be controlling or even a fixer. She has clear boundaries and standards, doesn't need like an entourage to vet her every life decision and, you know, send it through a committee of her peers. She struggles to receive help at times and assistance and she has this I can do it all on my own attitude right. Always dresses impractically, even if she's in like warm up sweats, whatever, she's always on point and she can be emotionally detached.
Speaker 1:So oftentimes you'll see like an alpha female where she just kicks the shit out of her job and her career or whatever business she does amazing for herself, right. Then let's say, after work. She has a date. So she'll go on that date with the exact same energy as she's been in for all her whole day telling people off on the phone. You know, the thing should have been here two days ago. I don't know if I'm gonna work with you anymore. Get your shit together right, like that very combative, like you know, get your shit right.
Speaker 1:But she doesn't know how to take the alpha, go, get it done energy and segue or slide into a more feminine energy. So like the feminine alpha still knows what she wants, but she shuts up and she lets the man talk so she can decide. If he's it Right, she'll lean back a little more. Even in her body language she's not, you know, sitting forward, leaning in on the table. She's back in her chair. She's looking at her surroundings, she's focused on the guy in front of her. She's like this restaurant is beautiful, such a great seat. I feel so good here. Like she'll talk about how she feels as opposed to. I went to this place, you know uptown and you know it's. It got a bigger bar than this place, but this place is cool. You see the difference. There's no competition. She's just taking it all in and this man is like, oh my god, she's telling me she feels good here. Like, oh, she feels good with me. Oh my god, that makes me feel more like a man.
Speaker 1:She knows how to communicate and hold herself in such a way that doesn't necessarily put herself down by any means. If anything, she's sliding into a feminine woman to compliment the masculine man and bringing out that masculinity in that man so he could do it on her respect, her care for her, cater to her. Are you okay? Would you like anything else? Oh, I would love a glass of water please. Waiter, snap, snap. Can you please get the ladies some water, like it's. You know the world is for you and he's trying to impress you. And you know, as opposed to the you know alpha in in the wounded mode where she is in competition and she's trying to be liked, as opposed to sitting back and saying, all right, let's see what you got, let's see what this guy's about. I'm just gonna be pleasant, I'm gonna enjoy my Linglini like lamb sauce and I'm just gonna sit here and see what this dude is about and be pleasant, listen and have an engaging conversation, not a interrogation.
Speaker 2:Okay, I love.
Speaker 1:That. That's pretty much. You know where we're at with the feminine alpha healed. So now let's look at the alpha male. Right again, healthy version of alpha male and wounded version of alpha male. So like this is also referred to as like the wounded masculine and the divine masculine. So it depends on you know what circles, but if we're talking about the alpha, we'll make it about that. So again, the alpha male, very similar to the alpha female. They both have a clear vision for what they want out of life. They're a go-getter, they are creator of their own life. They're like I want shit to happen in my life, I have to go get it. He takes the lead, speaks his mind, commands respect. If he's wounded he could come across a little bullying. Right has clear boundaries and standards, doesn't need an entourage when he wants to do business decisions or any decision in his life. He's very connected to his intuition. He's like I know what feels right for me. I'll check and vet these people and see what's up, but ultimately I know what.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna do. He wants a woman who brings him peace and isn't really into competitive women. So friendly competition is fine, right, like things that keep him on his toes, that's fine. But when it's kind of like every single aspect of life, there's always an opinion, there's always a fight about it, there's always like can you just let me drive the car? And like you just sit there and like play us a good playlist? Like, can't you just enjoy the ride? Why do you feel all about? No, baby, you have to go this way and make a right instead of a left, because I'm telling you the traffic is going to be just no, no, no, sit there, be like oh, I love this music. This is amazing. I'm just gonna sit here and like look at the trees out the window. That's the kind of woman he wants, right, he wants that fun sidekick kind of thing, a partner, not a project.
Speaker 1:Right, lives impeccably. This is a man. Alpha male. This is not a man.
Speaker 1:Look, if an alpha male is a slob, he's gonna call a cleaning service. This is who he is. He can. He can recognize his limitations, the things he's not good at, and he'll make a way for those things to be handled. So his home is kept impeccably. He is impeccably because he has a mindset of I need to be successful and I can't be successful if my place is a slow, sloppy mess. Right, so they're very that. And he's emotionally stoic, which means when an alpha male is healthy, they aren't rattled by noise and chaos in people around them. They avoid it. They don't like drama. They're very stoic in that they assess how they feel about a situation. If somebody came at them in a way that they didn't like, they're not gonna lash out, they'll take a pause, they'll think on it and then they'll respond accordingly and it will be very, you know, serious consequences. So I always give like an archetype of this.
Speaker 1:So like, if we're looking at the archetype of the alpha female we're looking at like Samantha from Sex and the City, right, and what happens is, though, alpha men, if you know that show, prefer, prefer more of like a Charlotte right, where Charlotte's like the house woman, like she's granted, she worked in a gallery. She did other things, she was you know, she had purpose, she had a clear you know thing to do other than do it on her man, but if that man was with her, he would never know it. He would never know what she did for a living, because she's like, yeah, that's the secondary, that's that's. You know. Yes, it's important to me and I love that I do this, but when I'm with you, it's about us that, and if you ask me, you know, hey, how did that?
Speaker 1:How did that big appointment go? Like, you had this big appointment like, oh yeah, I went gravy, went to blah blah restaurant and I closed the deal and I sold, like you know, I don't know, like $200,000 of art. Oh, my god, that's amazing. I know it's so good. Anyway, how was your day? Like, what happened with your thing?
Speaker 1:They're very like, not dragadocious and competitive, and not. It's just, I love what I do, I feel good when I do it and I'm so grateful that I get to do what I do for a living and I get to, you know, help, people and whatever it is, and it's coming from more of a place of that as opposed to, yeah, so like I'm flying to wherever because I'm getting an award and it's like the fifth time I got this award in the last five years and I don't know if I'm even going. Maybe I'll do it via. You know, I'll zoom in with a thank you speech. I'm so over it. And the guy is sitting there like, oh my god, this chick is such a bitch like there's no grace, right, there's no, there's no subtle grace, you know, there's no grace at all. So it's kind of what that is.
Speaker 1:And then, like, the alpha male archetype is, I would say, like a Rocky Balboa, right like the old-school Rocky movies where like, and that is such a quintessential alpha dynamic, masculine, feminine dynamic is especially in Rocky 3, right like Rocky 3, adrienne had a bunch of money in her. Now, yeah, built a home, she's the lady of the matter and she's not that nerdy little lady with the glasses. That was, like you know, kind of shy. She can assert herself now she's seen some things and when Rocky starts to chicken out and just he's not into it, she has that conversation with him on the beach and it's the perfect example of how, like, a feminine alpha woman sets her man straight in such a way that inspires him. She, she just gives him the truth. They get heated. She holds space for him and she doesn't let her energy wane, she doesn't get loud, she just says I believe in you and you don't believe in yourself anymore and you and you just are falling away and you're not the man that I know you are, that you've proven yourself to be time and time again. I'm paraphrasing, but I urge everybody watch this movie.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, rocky 3 it's such an old-school movie but I know hits home with that masculine, feminine dynamic between him and Adrian and it's perfect. It's perfect example because you really see how she, you know, holds that frame for him and, like you see the light bulb go off in his head about like damn, she's right and this is why this is why she's my Adrian that she calls me on my shit, but she does it in a way that's uplifting and making me want to be a better man, not chastising me, condoning me, putting me deeper in the shit pit. She's making me want to hold here, take my hand, I'm gonna pull you out of the shit pit, but I'm not going in there with you. Kiss my ass. I'm not going in there with you. Right here, you're in it, get yourself out and I'm standing right here for you. So it's a very different approach, because the codependent approach is to go in and cozy up and try to fix some and try to just be too fixy and masculine. And don't worry, I'll do it. Bullshit. That's like Adrian's, you know, in that movie, rocky 3.
Speaker 1:She kept her position I am your wife, you are the man. Go fight this fight. You've done it, you've done crazy or shit in the past. Like why are you so afraid? And it's okay to be. And he said it's because I'm afraid. That's like. That was the big admission. She was like what's wrong with you and this and that. And he goes because I'm afraid, I'm afraid the first time in my life I'm afraid. So she humbled him and in that she said so, be afraid, it's okay to be afraid. Like I love you, no matter what I got you. Like we're gonna get through this, it's fine. And it was like a team thing, lovely, beautiful there.
Speaker 2:It is Rocky 3 well, you know, I would say this because this is huge, what you just said, and I hope everyone who's listening understands what you just said, because people think Alpha is haha, I hear me, roar, I talk, I'm talking louder, I don't have feelings, I'm gonna be, you know, rude, etc. Etc. And the same thing with a woman and you know the alpha female and alpha male. That's thriving. Rocky had feelings. He was, he was confident in himself to be vulnerable, and the same for a woman to be vulnerable. So I think that is something that I think men and women get misconstrued when they say alpha and they say I'm an alpha, and alpha means you could be bought, you're strong enough to be vulnerable.
Speaker 1:So I hope everyone here's that being vulnerable isn't a weakness and strength.
Speaker 1:Like you said, you're strong enough to be vulnerable, to be like you know. You go to your man and, just like you know, I'm feeling a little weird about work. Yeah, why? Yeah, they hired these two new bitches. They think they don't want to be. It's making me feel bad. They excluded me from a meeting. In 20 years I've been with these people, they exclude me from a meeting. I felt like shit and I don't know. Like for the first time I really didn't feel secure in my job.
Speaker 1:And now man can step up and say girl, you're great at what you do and if these assholes don't see it, fuck them. You got another job or you quit, or you strike out on your own and you end up being a consultant. You could work from here. You can be peaceful. You've been at this game for 20 years. Enough is enough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that support. Really you would support me like if I told these people to go suck a bag of dicks and I left and I said, listen, I'm out, I'm fucking out. Don't treat me that way. I sacrificed a lot of shit for you people. I quit and you do and like I'm out and we can do that like I saved a bunch of money, I can float myself. I could feel, let's talk about that. And the guys like, yeah, let's talk about it because I don't want my wife to be, or my girlfriend whenever your situation to be upset, complaining out of harmony, out of balance because these ridiculous psychopath people at your job driving you crazy. Yeah, and that's how you have these conversations. It starts with the admission of the feeling and that you're not all wadded up, because when you're all wadded up trying to figure out yourself because you're alpha, you can't get help. Then he tells you did you leave the light on in the garage?
Speaker 1:and you flip your shit yes, oh my god, yes, you're all wadded up from this thing that you're trying to work out on your own, and something completely unrelated will set you off so, now that we have the definition, why is it so difficult to be feminine?
Speaker 2:I think when and you, you just explained it like the alpha female, I am strong. I'm not gonna be.
Speaker 1:We elaborate on that, all right so here's the thing, and I'm diving so deep into this, I'm finding all kinds of people writing books on this magical stuff that's been occulted from us, ladies, for my goodness, almost over a hundred years at this point. And it is this, this whole thing, this whole bag of bullshit they sold us under the guise of feminism and, you know, freedom and oh, you're gonna vote, you're gonna have bank accounts and it's gonna be amazing. It was social engineering for a very nefarious objective. So, like back in the day and I'm talking like, you know, turn of the century, and if you read the book, you know the creature from Jekyll Island, you'll know that you know there are all these people that in this island off the coast of Georgia, and it was the turn of the century, 1900s, and they were all titans of industry and they sat together and they said how are we gonna run the ship, how are we gonna run the world? And they kind of had, you know, their little meeting and they looked at all aspects of society, the one that they wanted to create, and the whole objective was to get a nation of workers and to make them loyal to the state, and so, in order to do that, it's kind of, you know, rooted a lot in Marxist ideology. And I'm diving into this deep because it's just so inherent to what we're seeing in the world today the division between men and women and that epidemic of loneliness that we're seeing with men and women. It's just, you know, rooted in something very insidious and I want to get to the bottom of what it is and just have conversations like these so people can look stuff up for themselves. And I want to know what the deal is, because if I'm duped like, I want to know it right and everybody has a right to that. So what happened was they could want to create a society right, where women were herded away from the family and into the workplace.
Speaker 1:So now we're on the fourth generation of this, so by now it's already in our DNA, it's woven in our DNA, no different from generational trauma, it's the same thing. So now we notice that the path for women and I'm talking like the girls who are now coming up in their 20s it's go to school, attend and graduate college and pursue a career and there's really no room for family, motherhood, be a wife, just none of that. And we're seeing like a lot of depression and a lot of anxiety and it's all rooted in this, you know, removal from faith and God and your purpose as a woman. And when I say your purpose as a woman, I'm talking lineage and legacy. I'm talking about like, yeah, you can work a career and have a business and that's wonderful, but like, if the internet goes out or something happens, you have no business right, but what do you have Right? A closet full of shoes, bags. Like what do you have Right? As opposed to legacy, where you're like you know what and you're thinking to yourself like I, all of this can go away tomorrow and I have people who love me and I have a family and I have good friendships and I have. And they might think that they have all that, but if they really search their souls, there's an emptiness there that's intangible, it's a thing, it's a whole that was created by this. So they're choosing essentially to go against their nature for a go marriage, for a go motherhood. And I will tell you this for the big, you know, drop the bomb. I'm child free because of this.
Speaker 1:This was a big thing that I went through in my thirties. I was married, I was making bank, I had a career, a home, a husband and I didn't want the responsibility and the chains, if you will, of motherhood, because I was so codependent and raised by very overbearing parents. I looked at marriage as read them and adulthood. I could go into the workplace, make my money, have my man, we can travel, we can do whatever we want and have a blast. And because he wasn't as alpha, he was very let Lisa run the show and I was very wounded alpha. I ran the show and I asked him like you know, this was me 30 years old, 32 years old I said, now that we moved into this house, like we checked that off the list of life's things to do what do you want to do next? Do you want to have babies? Like, where are you at with that whole thing? And he said I leave that entirely to you. You're going to be the one to have them. So, therefore, it's your decision and I made that decision from a very wounded place, unfortunately, and I sold myself on the glamorous life of. Look at our life. We're dual income, no kids. We can go to Cancun when we want. We can go to Miami on a weekend. We don't have children, we have a dog.
Speaker 1:And I bang that drum and in the end I wasn't fulfilled. I felt this deep, profound emptiness, despite working in New York City, top public relations firm in the world, working on major brands Look at me, I can work for Kellogg's and you know whatever, tankeray and all this stuff. And it was travel and it was slavery. I was like what am I doing? I'm commuting to work for two hours, sometimes three per day. I'm not having sex with my husband because I'm so exhausted. By the time I get home all I want to do is put on my sweats and numb out to ridiculous reality TV. It's causing a wedge between my husband and I.
Speaker 1:Then I start to do dangerous things right, such as organizing little girlfriend getaway vacation trips without my husband. Trouble, trouble, trouble. Going to the city with a bunch of girls on my own, you know. Getting into this happy hour scene with colleagues after work so that there's drinking involved, like getting into these party girl vibes, not really being wifely. And why? Because I wanted to break free from my parents and do what I now have the freedom to do in my 30s with the money that I wanted to do in my teens and early 20s. So now I'm like damn, I have the money to like pay for like these dinners out, these happy hours, cancun, vegas, I'm like, let's do our thing.
Speaker 1:But it was very destructive and it was a very consumeristic, superficial existence, a very external existence which ultimately is not going to be fulfillment. And you know, I'm still really good friends with my ex-husband and you know we look at it like we met each other when we were 20. And we went through this adventure together to really grow up and now I'm remarried to another man amazing and I wanted to this time be a wife, given all of the wisdom and all of the healing that I've done, and really be a wife in a wifely way, where I would never think of going on a separate vacation from my husband. Now I wouldn't even think of making decisions without his input. You know anything from. I'm thinking of going to visit my mom this week. I'm thinking of going Wednesday Like you know what I mean, like include that. So listen, wednesday I'm going to my mother's house so you're on your own for dinner.
Speaker 1:It's a way of speaking, in a way of just being that in return, you get the best out of a man, you and you get a man who's ready. You get a man who, let's say, I was in that feminine energy back when I was married to my first husband and I came to him with that question of so what do we do now? We just moved into our house, like I guess you know we have to start talking about children, so what do you think about that? And if he said to me I leave it to you entirely I would have been able to say you know, I understand how that decision and this conversation can be a bit overwhelming, and that's why I'm glad we're having it and maybe we're just not ready yet.
Speaker 1:Is it something that you think you want to do? Like, do you have visions of yourself like throwing a football in the front lawn with your son? Like, do you have those visions? And I know we talked about it loosely before we got married and it was just an assumption that we would have children. But if you were not there yet, that's fine, but I just want to know where you're at, and that would have opened him up.
Speaker 1:It would have been like, you know, here's what concerns me I want to have at least 100 grand liquid cash in the bank before we even think of having a kid, and we're just not there yet. Oh, okay, so it's a money thing, got it, I can help, like let's put our heads together. I didn't have that then because I was still in my wounded. I was very fight or flight. I was very, you know, confrontational. I had to have everything under control, a lot of controlling, a lot of manipulation, because I was just looking for safety and security, but I was looking for it outside of myself and I thought, okay, that makes sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. And, as you were talking, and I'm trying to I hope I can articulate this. I love that. When you said the being wounded, and if you think about it and I you know, I know I talk about being this independent woman but if you are not wounded, you are okay with feeling feminine. You're okay with being feminine when you are this, oh, I'm not going to be that. And oh, oh, hell, no, then that comes from a wounded place, right?
Speaker 1:Because you're guarded and you're not secure in you.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Right. So the other point which is super important on this is you know, when a woman is running their own lives alone and they're doing it all being a worker and a thinker, it puts a woman in left brain dominance. So our brain has left and right yin and yang. Everything in us is, you know, polarity and balances. But when I was worker B in New York, doing my thing, living my life, you know, with the work, life thing and the whole mess, I was very in my left brain. That's why, when I got home from that commute, all I want to do is put on my sweats and veg in front of the TV, because the TV puts you in the right brain, which is just hyper, relaxed, just super. And it's so, on the opposite, that when you're scrolling through social media after, like, a long day of work, it's your body's way of regulating balance. It's unhealthy but it's just a normal way of being like, okay, I'm going to watch, you know, netflix, or I'm going to binge this show, or I'm going to watch ridiculous you know the bachelor, or some stupid shit. That's not doing anything of value to you, but it's just helping you to zone out and there are more constructive ways to do that and when you're in your feminine, you can find those constructive ways. They come very easily to you.
Speaker 1:That's when you start journal meditating, you want to listen to a podcast about being healthy and aligned, and you know these different things start to really excite you and inspire you. And you know, to be fair to these, to all women, right, this is like such a unifying statement and I'm going to try my best to make it so it really hits for people. This is so necessary because women, now more than ever, really need to unite and there's a lot of division, not just between women and men, but women and women. So there's these feminist women and then there's the feminine women and they're kind of trying to like, outdo each other and slam one another. And I have to always remember what is the greater goal here? Right, to take on this insidious satanic order who is trying to run every aspect of our lives. And in order to do that, we need to unify.
Speaker 2:You know, what the listeners don't know and now they're going to know, is that Lisa has this article pan-fucking-tastic article. I love the article and it is. The title is Can an Alpha Woman Attract an Alpha man? So I read the article and I came up with a lot of the questions from the article and one of the things that you said. You said something where you said you had a part where it said when you have an alpha woman who knows how to be alpha professionally yet feminine when around her man you have a power couple Like when I read that because I always think I want to be part of a power couple but what does that look like? Alpha professionally and yet feminine around her man?
Speaker 1:So it was almost like what we were saying earlier, but I'll go deeper into it because I'll just share kind of how I had to approach that. Right. It's like right now I'm in my alpha work mode version of me. I'm doing this interview, I'm in a doing mode, right. When we're done I'm going to slip into feminine mode because husband's out there in the kitchen setting the dinner ready, chilling, because he knows I'm doing this. So that's power couple shit. Right, you're like a team, right. So I'm going to go out there and say I had a great podcast with Lisa Ella Go, phenomenal, and we talked about all these cool things. I'm all excited and I'm happy and not stressed out about anything. And then we're going to have a wonderful meal together and having the rest of your day go.
Speaker 1:What happened with the calls and this and that, and it's just you know what about the weekend and what we want to do? And the dog to be a day camp, which means he'll sleep over camp and we'll have the house to ourselves and we won't be interrupted and we'll be so romantic, right, like it's this giddy, happy right. Never once am I like talking about work, not to say that I don't have issues and I don't ever bring them to him, but it's not from this place of like cutting shorts that I can do the next thing. It's being fully present. I think that's the whole thing, right. It's being present and it's like you know, I'm sitting in the kitchen and he's cooking and doing stuff and then, like, I'm on my phone real quick and then I'll put my phone over the side, plug it in and then set up the table, like it's just being in the flow, being in the groove together, you know, and, yeah, when the big decisions come, and they do, it's not having to run everything.
Speaker 1:It's kind of nice to just be with a man who's like, hey, I'm thinking of, you know, renovating the thing in the backyard. Oh yeah, remember we said we wanted to get lights in the backyard. Oh yeah, I remember you were like, oh yeah, so we're having two guys come this weekend. I made some calls. Oh oh, that's cool, all right, good, right. So do you have calls on Saturday morning? I don't, no, okay, good, so we're gonna meet with these two guys and I want you to like you know, but he took the lead in that it wasn't me saying, you know, we said we were gonna get lights on the lanai and like we haven't done shit, like what's wrong with us and that worker gets shit done mode.
Speaker 1:It's more of a I trust that you'll handle it when it's time to be handled. It's all good, right, it's an energy of I am confident and it's all gonna look out. It's very strongly rooted in your faith. Also, when you have like a God centeredness to you, then you're not trying to control everything. You're like give me the nudge and the inspired action to take, and I'll take it. But when I'm in chill mode, I don't need to be inventing shit to do just to occupy my own tent.
Speaker 2:I like that.
Speaker 1:So I mean, that's kind of like that power. Couple mode is very like we have a goal together. As a couple, we're going in this direction together and here's the path to it. And the feminine is like all right, I love it, I'm on board and you're contributing insight. You're not directing and steering it.
Speaker 2:We talked a lot of the background and the foundation of alpha and female, what it means, where it's coming from. How can we attract Really Lisa? How can I attract, no, how can we attract an alpha man? And again, I'm going by your article and I gotta say this article is You're gonna put it in the show notes.
Speaker 2:No, I'm gonna put it in the show notes because it is so well written and it's literally, it's tough love. So be ready, it's not all softened butterflies, it's gonna slap your face and it's slapping your face of truth. So one of the things that you said, like what's one thing, like what are some of the things that an alpha woman can do to attract an alpha man? One of them was stop doing and start being, and I literally had to stop and really like think about that. Stop doing and start being I think he just mentioned it being present. Yeah, it's a big one.
Speaker 1:It's a big one. We live in a world that is so overstimulating that it throws us off intentionally. So it's intentionally created to put our vibrational frequency at such a level where we feel anxious, fearful, and in those lower vibrational frequencies we're easily manipulated, we're not thinking straight. But when we learn how to not do so much in the doing we have energy expenditure and we deplete ourselves. But then when we are just being meaning you work all day, that's doing being is how do I wanna be, how do I wanna feel while I do this Excel spreadsheet piece of shit document that's making me have anxiety. I hate it. Okay, I don't wanna feel good about this. So I'm going to fill up my water. I'm gonna have delicious lemon with my water, maybe get a little green tea, perfect hydrate, wonderful. I'm going to crack the window in my office or I'm going to put on some nice background music so that I can get into some good music while I'm doing this thing and I'm gonna be in it. I'm gonna be in it, not going to rush it and neglect how I wanna feel. So it's like a feeling and doing combination. Another example is I'm going to crank out this and when it's done, I'm getting my nails done, or I'm going to look at shoes at the store down the street or whatever, or I'm gonna get myself something delicious to eat for lunch. It's rewarding yourself.
Speaker 1:And when you're sitting and eating, be with the food and eat. I know a lot of people busy girls out there. They eat in front of their desk. They're on the computer, paying bills, online shopping, doing the whole shit while eating. Eating is being time, sacred time. You're nourishing your body, so taste the food, be present, put on some good music, listen to this podcast, perhaps, and sit for, like, even if it's a half hour, at your desk. If you absolutely need to be at your desk, do it.
Speaker 1:I get the realities of how people are, but better is go someplace where you can see nature. If you can see trees working in the city, go someplace where there's a park or something, see squirrels playing, whatever. I used to do this in New York. I worked on 42nd between 2nd and 3rd, and I used to walk up to Bryant Park and I'd sit there and I'd just watch these badass New York squirrels like fight each other for pizza, like it was awesome, and I would just feel like sun on my face, hear the wind in the trees, and that was when I was like masculine mood, like that's, when I was, like you know, crushing it.
Speaker 1:So even you know, pay attention to how you're being, with where you're living. Also Is your environment, your surroundings, is your living space is so important. Be in your space, have a pre bedtime ritual where you shut off technology and you just kind of hang out and listen to some music while you're brushing your teeth. I give my clients, like I'm big into sound frequency, so I give, like all my clients these you know YouTube playlists with like 9.63 Hertz. You know the sound of God and manifestation, like you know, and I sit there, I play with my husband and I brush in our teeth. You know, get ready for bed.
Speaker 1:You know, when we start caring for ourselves and paying more attention to the beingness of being a woman, like being a woman, even think about it. Being a woman, what does being a woman mean to you? And women are so in the hamster wheel of the matrix that they're just like being a woman means I make my own money and I do my own shit, nobody tells me shit about anything and I'm like okay, but that's doing, that's not being. Then, when you are like to answer your question like how can you attract a masculine man? Like a super alpha guy Super alpha guy, be happy in your beingness, where you don't even have to say shit. You just roll up, stand at a bar, smile, and this bartender's like, yeah, that guy over there is buying you your drink. You're like, oh, I just walked in five seconds ago, or there's no seat at the bar. And you're like waiting for friends and you're just standing there. And this handsome guy's like, allow me to hear how to make seat. Oh, it's okay, just sat in my car for an hour in traffic, but, thank you. Well, what are you drinking? I'll get you your first one. So generous, I'm having a class with champagne. Are we celebrating anything? My birthday? Right, like you meet people, right, you go.
Speaker 1:When you're in that feminine, like life just shows up for you. You don't have to chase shit, just roll up and things happen and you get invited to cool things and you are in that presence and you're not in that like resting bitch face. Because resting bitch face is because you are not present and you are thinking of something else. That's putting you in that state of resting bitch face. But if you ground yourself and you're totally like I am present, I am here, this is awesome. Look at the lights. I like this restaurant. Look at how they have exposed brick. This is beautiful, smells good too. They probably made sauce fresh tonight. That's feminine, you're sensory, you're feeling it, you're like, oh my God, this is great, versus resting bitch face because you're thinking of a report that you have to write or you're thinking of a meeting that didn't go well, or you're thinking past or future. If you're not present, got it.
Speaker 1:And so masculine men, they see that as an asset because it grounds them, like, did you ever see these women where they like? They're just sitting there, looking fabulous, dripping in design or whatever, and it's a business table. You know wives are there and the husbands are doing business at the table and it gets a little heated between the gentlemen and all that woman does is just takes her hand and places it ever so gently on his forearm and pets him. You know it's like his arm back and forth and it takes the energy right down. It's her feminine energy just being like well, I love, oops, no need to get heated, but she's not saying that, she's just nonverbally calming him down. It's like a central nervous system. Thing Right, swaddle your man.
Speaker 2:That is. You know that that's powerful, like that's right there. That's so power. I don't think women are realizing. You know, women yes that's so powerful.
Speaker 1:You smile at a guy the right way? No, it's. You can forget it. You can write chaps.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay. So the next one you said, the next one you stated learn. Now this is. I will say this is something I had to learn on my own Learn how to receive. This is the core of feminine energy. Because, once again, no, I can do it, no, I don't need to do it. And I know my mom, old school mom Latina, said if you go in telling a man you don't need him, that's really hard. Like if he wants to give it because he wants to provide and you're telling you don't need him, he's kind of dumbfounded, okay. Well then, what am I doing here?
Speaker 1:Exactly it's. You're messing with their purpose, right? Like? You got to get clear on the whole game here, right? Yes, like the purpose man is to provide, and it doesn't mean necessarily only financial provision, but provision in the sense of can I wash my own car? Yes, I can. Yes, and I do it nine to million times. If husband says, hey, I'm going to wash the cars this Saturday, thank you, that'd be amazing. I have calls in the morning on Saturday. Yeah, while you do your calls, I'm going to wash the cars. I love that, and then we can go for a ride and get lunch. Yeah, I was thinking the same.
Speaker 1:Okay, receive, receive, receive. So this is one especially like for women who have been living alone for a while. This takes practice. So practice, like you're hearing this podcast, like, get into practice now by receiving from any man, anywhere in your travels, anywhere you go, ever. So like, for example, you're out to brunch with your girlfriends and the cute waiter guy comes over and says ladies, are you doing? Okay, can I get you anything else? Yes, think of something on your feet. Yes, yes, thank you. Can I have more lemon for my water, please? Sure, come and write up, learn that, learn that and be like wow, look at my power.
Speaker 1:I ask for things and men bring them to me, like, for example, when I was in this exercise of this whole thing that I'm explaining. I said to myself let's practice this. Where I'm gonna receive from men, I receive it. It became my new worldview, my new view of the world. I receive from men all the time. Everywhere I go, men don't on me, they wanna help me, they wanna do things.
Speaker 1:So what happened? I go to the supermarket, as I've done many times before that. This time there was this older gentleman. He was about my dad's age, nice and his 70s, really sweet, and he says to me, after bagging my groceries, would you like me to help put that in your car? And I said I would love that, thank you. You know how many times I've been there like a schmuck ass pulling the water, the big bottle of water, the toilet paper, trying to shove it in my car.
Speaker 1:This man, 70-something years old, he's a sweetheart of a man, he's gonna walk in and he's pushing my car and I'm just like this is nice and sunny out and he's gorgeous out today and he's like it is and that's my car over there. Oh, you drive a nice one, thanks, yeah, and we're chatting and I open up the thing he puts it in. Can I tip you? No, I'm not allowed to have tips, but just sharing this time with you is a tip enough. I'm like old school. Old school. You remind me of my dad. I'm gonna call my dad today because of you. That was it left done. But it made the precedent of I receive from men. I don't care if they're 18, I don't care if they're 80, I receive from men. And what happens? The universe arranges it so that becomes your reality. Now you have men doting on you, treating nice, opening doors, this shit of masculinity is dead.
Speaker 2:Masculinity is dead nobody's chivalrous anymore.
Speaker 1:Oh no, your worldview dictates how the world shows up for you. If you have a worldview that's, men are pieces of shit, they're not chivalrous, they're all weak, they're all momma's boys. That's what the universe is going to prove true.
Speaker 1:Godly. So that's good, okay, but if you say I am gonna create proof for myself, I get helped by men everywhere I go, everywhere I go, there's men to assist me, to help me, to do it on me. Oh, let me. Yes, please, thank you, yeah, please, thank you. That's it. Get into that space of I am able to receive. I love the kindness of men, I attract gentlemen, and you're gonna see how the world will prove that true to you Now.
Speaker 2:Next one was stop proving worth, stop making it easy for him, and I was gonna ask you, like how do alpha females prove worth? And you kind of talked about it since this whole conversation was started the doing and the. If you keep doing, why would he need to even try?
Speaker 1:Right, right, yeah, it's like stepping over him, like he's like hey, how about we go this place on Saturday night? Oh, that place sucks. Instead of saying, hmm, we can do that. Or I heard of this other place that's getting really good reviews, oh, what's the place? You say the place. Okay, let's go there. They wanna, please you, let them do it, but don't crush him. Elevate him, notice. Well, we could do that, but there's this other place. Like you're letting him in on secret down this other place wanna try it. So now you're a team. You didn't have to. Oh, that place sucks. We went there two years ago. You remember they fucked up our whole order. Like my God, this planet is just trying to like you know what? What can I do to please you? That's what they wanna do. So help them do it and be pleasing, right, so if you're pleasing in return, they'll move mountains for you.
Speaker 2:You also mentioned in the article about how not to make it so accommodating because it will make like you being accommodating and available will make him actually lazy.
Speaker 1:Right, it will make him lazy and it'll make him presume that you don't have anything else going on now. Alpha women they typically have a pretty robust full life. So they run into the other struggle of letting it be known that they're interested in that man. So oftentimes you'll hear from men that they'll say you know, I was out with this woman and I thought it was going really well, but I didn't really get the sense that she liked me. Meanwhile the woman's like why didn't he call me? I can't believe he didn't call me.
Speaker 1:And I often say well, what was your indicator that you were interested? Like did you flirt with him? Did you touch his arm? Did you say that I had a really good time? Like what was the thing that made it clear to him that you were giving him pleasure and permission to pursue you? And she's like oh yeah. So I guess he kind of was a little nervous at the end and I didn't want him to try to kiss me. So I just kind of like said bye and thanks and gotten my Uber and left and it's like okay, so let's handle how it ended date, how to close it off, how to, especially when you're interested, and if you're not because there's, you know, two ways to approach it, based on your interest level, and those are the things that we work out Like I do a lot of, you know, alpha coaching with alpha women, dating with power and purpose.
Speaker 1:So they're used to just treating everything so business that when they're not interested, they're like you know, they're not gracious about it, they're frustrated because it's you know this is a failure, right, it's fails. I wasted three hours of my night. It's not the one, right, Right, and I was to. This is the man who's on the path to my man. So, thank you, and I practiced having a great conversation, and I practiced, you know, learning about myself by what this man was talking about. You know, this was cool and there's no need to have any animosity or any ill will because he wasn't it. It just means you're getting closer to the one and you bid this guy farewell. Hey, it was really great to meet you.
Speaker 1:I'm feeling kind of like a friend's vibe with you, though, and I just wish you the best and that's it. Oh, just like that on one date, just like that. Well, you didn't say you know what you want, I do and you know what. All good things for you and you're at it, but smiley and gracious, and a lot of alpha women make these presumptions oh, you have to cut her off harsh, because otherwise they'll still try. They'll keep trying Make it like public relations. You have a statement and you stick to the statement. If the guy that you're not interested in starts blowing up your phone again and again, you stick to the statement. I really feel more of a friend connection with you. I wouldn't want to take your attention away and energy away from the woman that could be for you Gracious and kind and good, but succinct. Okay, and that's it.
Speaker 2:I like that All right. This one, I, like you said, be the tequila, not the line Face. No one Attract and receive. And you mentioned something like giving, telling women to detach from the outcome of the relationship or marriage. You said this is the hardest thing for most alpha women to do, because they usually set goals, they make a plan, they work the plan until the goal is reached is achieved. So how do we not do that?
Speaker 1:So this is where the faith part comes in. Right, like, you have a goal, honey. The universe heard your request for this amazing man, husband's beautiful man. Right, it's on it, it's done, you're ready. Ask.
Speaker 1:So, like I always say to women, like when you go to a restaurant and you ask for food, like the waiter comes and I, yeah, I'd like to have, you know, the filet mignon done medium rare plus and I'd like the potatoes with that, do you get up out of your chair and go to the back and say to the chef hey, chef, how long is it going to take for my steak to come? And are you going to flip it over once or twice? And are you going to put butter on that one? That settling Would he never. You have trust that. You asked and it is worked on and it's served up Period.
Speaker 1:So treat that aspect of your life the same. You already made your request to the universe of this man. All forces are working in your, in your, advantage for him to arrive. So it gets frustrating when you don't have your hands in the mix, because out of people like to control. They want to say, if I want X, then I have to do these things to achieve it. But these things are just in this case be happy, be pleasant, be chilling your body, enjoy your life, have a nice meal, connect with friends, family, be around things that light you up, do things that light you up, and in that energy this dude will appear out of the nothing, of the ether, of the infinite.
Speaker 2:I like that. I'm hoping for that, okay.
Speaker 1:Don't worry about the how. Just a laugh. Oh, I like that. Okay, right that on a post it. Stick it on your mirror and brush your teeth and read it to yourself.
Speaker 1:I like that. Yeah, don't get mixed up in the where is he and how is he coming and when is he going to come? And that's alpha, that's like toxic alpha, like I got to do it on create a man with you know, you know, out of clay. Okay, we're looking into the feeling of it. I'm so excited to meet this man that God has placed in my heart and in my mind and I just asked to be delighted in our meeting. It's going to be amazing and when the right time comes and I meet this person, I will know it the end.
Speaker 2:I'm going to go have a latte with my friends now, everyone listening, all these women listening to this. It's that easy, ladies, that easy. Um no, I get what you're saying. In fact. I love, I love, love, love. The last thing that you say, uh well, it's not the only thing that you the last thing on in the article, but this one really resonated. She said know who you are and connect to yourself deeply. Self love is everything. And that energy because really the article, the alpha energy, the alpha male, alpha female energy, it's all about that energy. You said it in the article and I think that's what really resonated to me. And if you are really connected to yourself, you're being present and you have this great love. Isn't that radiance and that energy? Like who is not going to want that?
Speaker 1:It's like a light, it's like an energetic light that walks into a room and it's just. You don't have to do anything, it's effortless, it's just in your aura and people can feel it so like. When I met my husband. I met him at a mutual friends dinner party and the hours leading up to that party was all about me feeling good. I worked out in the morning, I went and laid out at the pool. I can tan. I listened to a good podcast about some ridiculous conspiracy theories, of course, and I laid out and all this. I felt good. I took a shower, I laid out my dress, I prepared my girlfriend's little baggie with the champagne and the beauty stuff. I made her a nice little baggie for her birthday and I was all excited. I'm like this is cool, I'm feeling myself, I like what I'm wearing. My hair came out good. Like this is great.
Speaker 1:Get in the car listening to good music, show up, walk in that high vibe. I walked right into that table. Hi, I'm Lisa. I'm Jennifer's friend. I went around the table, shook hands with husband, didn't know he was going to be my husband man sitting at the table. Hi, how are you? I'm Lisa. Great Moves, a little Ate my meal, laughing with my girlfriend at the end of the table Having a great time. Everybody gets up. They clear the food. We're all social. Now the magnetic, the energy of this husband came. What showed up right here? We're talking about the comedian Sebastian Manascalco. When we start laughing about his jokes and what he was talking about, the other girl he was telling didn't know shit about anything I started telling him oh my God, it's so funny.
Speaker 1:We hit it off. Boom Energy current brings us to the bar area. He gets me a drink. We're talking. Three hours felt like 30 minutes. We're talking, getting along, laughing. Find out we're both from the Northeast. Just playful conversation, but getting to know certain things.
Speaker 1:For me it was no different. You go to these parties, you meet these men, you give them their number and you hear nothing. I had no attachment to the outcome whatsoever. I left. He was like listen, let me walk you out and I'll get your valet Car came. I went in it drove away, text me when you get home, let me know. You got home. Okay, I did. I forgot. I'm single. I never died.
Speaker 1:When was the last time I had to check in with anybody? It was like a year ago. I was just doing my thing. I'm like, oh shit, that guy I'm supposed to check in. Oh hey, it's so great to meet you. I made it safe. I'm with the dog, have a great night Done.
Speaker 1:I thought nothing of it. This happens all the time. You meet people out. They say and everybody is FOMO, and it's on to the next. I didn't know, I didn't care, he was a nice man, let's see what happens. Whatever, my day will continue, no matter what.
Speaker 1:Next morning 11 am, I get a text. It was so great meeting you. Here's the thing I know that modern dating comes with all kinds of rules and ridiculousness and I'm not having any of it. Very alpha, I loved our conversation last night. What's your schedule like this week? I'd like to take you to dinner. Boom, no ambiguity, no floaty float, no stupid emojis, no bullshit. What's your schedule? I want to take you to dinner. So I love that.
Speaker 1:I was feeling that alpha vibe 100%. So I did a little happy girl dance in my apartment. I ran around yeah, I'm a god, I'm so cute. I said, oh yeah, all right, get it together, text them back. And I wrote back very simply I really like your style. I'm available Wednesday or Friday, but if you don't want to wait that long, I can be ready by 6.30 tonight. Done, see you at 6.30. I'm like, oh my god. So now I'm like you should this guy's on it Love it. And then he wrote me back and he said how about Capitol Grill? We'll meet there at the bar, and you know the rest is history.
Speaker 2:Now she's married and now you know.
Speaker 1:We have pictures on our wedding day at Capitol Grill. I'm in my gown, we're sitting at the bar, like exact seats that we sat at. We're going there for Valentine's Day, so it's just like you know. These are the things I share, these stories to give people hope.
Speaker 1:I was alpha as I'll get out. I still am. I'm from the Bronx dude, I'm New York Like that's in your DNA. That take no shit. You're coming me crooked, you're going to get my wrath, like that's just in the weighted. So I had to really temper that and I had to learn how to communicate in a way that is effective, softer, you know, and even still, because my husband's alpha, he'll put me in check and it'll be funny the way he does it. Right, he's like, hey, chill out, you don't have to yell at me, I'm sorry, you're right. Okay, you know, cause that's that's the thing, right, when you know your limitations and you're both basically in a relationship to work on yourselves in the presence of your partner not going to be perfect, you don't have to be perfect, but you can be very clear on who you want to be and you can make that known and the other person will check you when you're not being that right.
Speaker 2:That's great, lisa. This was. This was amazing. Like I said, everything that you, you put tons of stuff on social media. I love the things that you talk about, these articles that you have on your website. Again, I just love them and you know, I hope everyone listens and realizes. You know, when you say alpha male and alpha female, you have a better understanding now than you did before. So, lisa, with that, where can we find you?
Speaker 1:So if you're hanging out on this podcast and you made it to the end, juicy gift for you. I do a free love life assessment and it's really cool. You head on over to my website, lumpquestcoachingcom and it'll be in the show notes. I'm sure you click on that sucker and it's going to be a little form that you fill out and it's a full on assessment. It gives you the chance to ask personal questions, talk about your patterns, all kinds of things, and then I read it. It's not some bullshit AI bot, it's me. I read it through thoroughly and I reply to you on email so you can print this sucker out. You can read it 10 times, you can take a highlighter pen to it, you can get pissed off and shred it whatever, but it's yours to keep for free.
Speaker 2:I like that. Wow, I think I'm going to do that. Do it Awesome, okay. So, lisa, I know you're on Instagram. Are you on TikTok?
Speaker 1:I am on TikTok, my first TikTok. I got it to 50,000 and then they deleted me. Because you know mouth they tell family, yeah. Preaching truth. They don't like it. I know I don't like it, but have no fear, I started in no one and that's up to like a little over 30K. It's almost 40 at this point and that can be found at Lisa the Love Coach 1A.
Speaker 2:So we'll put all the links, all your links, on the show notes doing the assessment, even the article that I was talking about. Okay, lisa, this has been amazing. Thank you so much, thank you so much, this was great. I loved it.
Speaker 1:I love being on TikTok.
Speaker 2:I know I'm from New York, from New York, from New York. Anyways, lisa, thanks again. Thank you for coming onto the show. We learned so much, and everyone. Thank you for listening Until next time. Bye.