Too Crazy To Be True Series: We Were Both Dating The Same Man

Some stories feel too wild to be true until you recognize the beats from your own life. We sat down with Lori and Stephanie to trace how a charming partner can build trust, shift the rules, and slowly erase your footing until your intuition is shouting through the noise. Their paths never crossed—until they did. What they discovered turns a string of “reasonable” requests into a map of control.

If this resonates, share the episode with a friend who needs clarity, follow the show for more real stories, and leave a review with the red flag you’ll never ignore again. Your story might be the lifeline someone else is waiting for.

Guests:

Stephanie Ann is 52 years young. She is originally from Mississippi and is a mother to 3 amazing kids. She has been working as a Veterinary Technician for 30 Years. 

Lori is 56 years old and a proud mother of 23 year old son who is a senior at UCF. She works for a global bank in software vendor management. She loves going on cruises and spending time with her family and friends. She is a huge football fan and lives and breath Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the West Virginia University Mountaineers. "To me the most important thing about life is family, friends and being able to help others succeed in life from my life lessons that I have learned. Pay it forward to help bring peace and happiness to others."

Host:
Lisa


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Chapters

• 0:15 Launching The New Segment
• 1:42 Setting The Theme: Trust And Intuition
• 2:39 How It All Began
• 3:45 Meeting Mr. Charming
• 6:33 Exclusivity, Family Blending, Then A Break
• 8:59 The Return, New Rules, And No Kids
• 10:35 Control Through The “Crazy Ex” Narrative
• 12:06 The First Red Flags
• 13:20 Matches And Finding Hope
• 16:00 Boundaries, Secrecy, And Social Media Bans
• 18:08 The Sudden Breakup Script Repeats
• 20:04 Four Years Of Excuses And Illness
• 23:06 The Restaurant Collision
• 25:40 “She’s My Nurse” And The Reveal
• 27:50 Aftershock, Sheriffs, And Going Public

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:15

Hi, I'm Lisa, and I am the host of the Mom is My Emergency Contat podcast. And today we're officially launching something new. This is where real life feels so unreal, it honestly deserves its own title card. No actors, no script, just stories that make you pause and say, hmm, is this for real? So today we're presenting our very first story in this segment. It's a story about trust, timing, missed red flags that only became obvious in hindsight, and a situation that unfolded in a way none of the women involved could have predicted. This episode isn't about drama for the sake of drama. It's about patterns, manipulation, and the moment when intuition quietly taps you on the shoulder and then eventually screams, What the fuck are you thinking? If you've ever looked back on a relationship and thought, wait, how did I not see that? This one's for you. Welcome to the Lifetime Movie segment. Let's get into it. Hi, Lori and Stephanie. Welcome to the show and thank you for taking the time to be here.

SPEAKER_03: 1:25

Hi, Lisa. Thank you for having us. We are so honored to be on your show. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00: 1:30

You know, and it's kind of like a fluke how we how this all came together. And when Lori reached out to me and told me the story on an email in a very succinct manner, my mouth, I mean, I'm not gonna lie, my mouth dropped. And I'm like, oh my God. And I had to read it again. And then I spoke to Lori and I was like, oh my God, unbelievable. So what we're gonna do is I want you both to first start with like, let's not get into the climax of the situation where things started unraveling. But why don't you start with the story of how you met this? Obviously, we're gonna be talking about somebody, how you met that person, Lori and Stephanie, and how it was and how it was going. I'm sure you're gonna tell me it was great, blah, blah, blah. And then after Lori, you can go first, and then Stephanie, and then after that, then we're gonna get into it. Okay.

SPEAKER_03: 2:25

Okay. Sounds great. So uh you want us to kind of start off on how we met this gentleman first and how okay. Um, so I will actually, Stephanie met um him first. So I'm gonna let you, I'll let her start off. Okay. And then I will go ahead.

SPEAKER_02: 2:44

Okay. So five years ago, I was on Tinder, um, and then we matched on Tinder. Um, I was very um surprised to meet a man on that site who wasn't automatically going straight to sex. He was uh very charming. Um I just we just hit it off immediately. Um, so we talked for a couple of months, um, not a couple of months, excuse me. We talked for about three to four weeks before we actually met um because he told me that his wife, his ex-wife, um, was very toxic and that he was actually at his mom's house in hiding. So um then we were finally able to meet um at a at a nice restaurant. He was, I was just pleasantly surprised at how well we got along. We laughed, we just, I mean, everything just flowed naturally. And I remember going home and telling all my friends, I'm like, he is the male version of me. Like, we just the way we interacted with each other, with other people, our waitress, you know, we just got along great. And I was I was super excited about the possibility because he was such a gentleman. Um, we just had a great time. And from there, it just progressed to where um we became exclusive and um and took it to the next level where we, you know, introduced our our kids, got involved. Um, and it was just great. I mean, we were having, you know, family dinners, you know, at his home. We were doing that out in public as well. Um, when the kids weren't around, you know, it was him taking me uh to different parts of town, um, having dates. We would go shopping, um, to the grocery store, you know, just running normal errands all around town, you know, pedicures and, you know, just doing all the normal things that, you know, when you're in a relationship that you would do. Um, so it just I I was in love, you know. I thought that he was my person. I had found my person. I'd never had somebody treat me that well. Um, he was uh a great father. He loved my kids, spent a lot of time with my kids. Um, so it was just it was just a great situation. Um then uh we ended up breaking up. He actually broke up with me. So I was obviously devastated because there wasn't anything specific that happened. Um so I was very confused. I was extremely confused about that. Um, we were broken up probably a month or so, and then he got back in contact with me. Um we started seeing each other again. Um, and it kind of picked up to where we left off. The only change was that oh, and I also would spend, you know, weekends at his house. You know, I was there on the weekends, I was there during the week. Tuesday nights was our main date night. So that's important. Um, and you know, after we, when we got back together, we didn't say we were um boyfriend and girlfriend again, but it was like that because we were continuously going on dates, you know, doing all the things, coming to my house. I would go to his house, going out in public. Um the only thing that changed that concerned me was our kids were no longer involved. And I didn't really understand that. Of course, he had excuses for that. Um, but it just never really made sense to me. And I would continuously say, hey, can we just get all the kids together again? They, I'm, you know, my kids miss you, they miss your kids. I'm sure your kids feel the same way. Um, but it was always excuses. Well, you know, the kids were at their mom's or their grandparents, or it was just always an excuse. Always an excuse. Um, but I still, I mean, I loved this man. I loved him with every ounce of my being. Everybody knew I absolutely adored him. Um, he, you know, gave me all these stories about his ex-wife that she was some type of monster, basically. She was this horrible mother. Um, a lot of details there. I mean, I could just go on and on for hours and hours of everything. Um, so he would never let me post us on social media. And his excuse for that was that his ex-wife would find me, um, harass me. Um, and I did get an email at work, um, her kind of harassing me a bit. And then um she sent him an email saying that she was going to come up to my work and have a talk with me. And he showed me these, you know, he showed me the email that she sent him. Um, even went so far as saying we would, if this continued, we would go get a restraining order, um, you know, and to never engage with her. And and another part of that is is I really wanted to meet her because I was around her children. But he would never let me do that. He was like, no, you don't want to do that. All she's gonna do is harass you. It'll never, ever end.

SPEAKER_00: 9:22

Um Stephanie, let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question before we get a little further here. Okay, one of the questions I had was um the posting um or actually the email. The email from a woman, did it actually come to your mailbox or did he show you oh, okay, so he showed the email. Okay. Uh-huh. And um, okay, and then the other question that I had was when he ended it that first time, he didn't give you a reason at all.

SPEAKER_02: 9:57

He just told me that he was not happy and just in general in life, and he couldn't figure out why he wasn't happy, that it was all on him. He had, you know, he had all these issues from his, you know, his his marriage, um, how horrible it was, how horrible she treated him. Um, and I even asked him directly, I said, Are you wanting to date other people? And he was like, Oh no, no. And I was like, Are you seeing somebody? No, no. I'm just, I've got my own issues. I assure you, this has nothing to do with you. It's all on me.

SPEAKER_00: 10:45

He's working on himself. He was working on himself. Yes, yes, he was working on himself. Exactly. Yes, yes, okay. Um not say anything about Lori is biting her tongue right now. Okay. So we, you know, we get the gist of it that you were in love with this man. And um, you know, obviously there's a I'm listening to these red flags, and man, could I share some of the similar stories, you know, the not posting on social media and the bullshit excuses that they give for that. Yeah. Um, and then not involving the kids again, um, for sure. And then, of course, talking how badly the ex-wife is, they're they're just monsters, right? Um, okay, so let's stop there. And then, Lori, why don't you talk about your situation with your boyfriend?

SPEAKER_03: 11:39

Okay. So how I got involved was when my son had turned 18, is I had decided at that point I was gonna put my dating life and my personal life on hold until because it was just my son and I, and I didn't have anyone else helping. So I thought I'm gonna wait till he's 18 before I allowed myself to be in another relationship after my divorce. And um, I worked, the company I worked with at the time, I had some coworkers who said, we're gonna create a match profile for you. Petrified, they created, I let them do it. I, you know, had them take the pictures, you know, the typical things. They're putting it online, whatnot. Um a couple months later, I um I get a like, or I liked him. I can't remember. It was, I mean, it was like literally, I think I liked him, and like 10 minutes later I got the like back from this guy. And we started talking um online, chatting, text back and forth. Come to find out, ironically, that the office building I worked in was like two blocks away from his business. And I said, This is great, and I'm doing some research. Uh and I I'm we met out for dinner one night after work, and it was the same thing. But he was the the dinner was so much fun. He he was this uh this nice Jewish guy that I had been waiting for for a long time. Uh knowing my background that I was looking for a nice Jewish guy, um and we went out on several dates, and I mean, it was like I was 18 again. It was uh so refreshing. And we seemed, I mean, uh, we'd have these conversations, everything we just had so much in common. The difference when I first started dating him versus when Stephanie was that I used to say after a couple of months, I said, When do you want to start introducing our kids? And he said, I I I don't know, but give me some time. I don't want to bring my my daughters into this because I knew when I grew up my mom had guys in and out all the time, and I didn't want I don't want my daughters exposed to my dating life. I want to keep it separate. And I said, Can I at least meet your mother? My gosh, your mother would be so happy that you're finally dating a nice Jewish woman. Hello, please, you know. Um he goes, I have one Jewish mother, I don't need two. No. Give me time, I have things I need to work on. I had a very traumatic marriage, and I'm still trying to work on things with that. And I really just don't want to bring another woman into my life because my family will be all up in my business, and I don't want that. Um he also I I used to get the same thing about we we were not don't post anything on social media. My ex-wife will find you, she will harass you, and she will get you fired. Don't do that. And because of my status with my job, because he owns his own company, I really like to keep my private life private. I have to keep it separate. And with the contracts that I have, I don't need that out there. And I'm like, okay. Unlike her though, I I cheated. I would put pictures of he and I. I just wouldn't tag him on it because I wasn't friends with him on Facebook. Um, so we we had dated, but it was always um it was even from the beginning though, it was a little inconsistent. And it always kind of bothered me. And we dated for several months. Um he did meet my son. I never met his daughters. Uh my son didn't really care too much for his personality uh too much. Um but in around the holidays, all of a sudden out of the blue, he wanted to end it. I had no idea why. Completely broke my heart. Um and he just said, I I made a comment one time. I said, But why is it you hide me from your family and from your daughters? I feel like I'm this other woman, and I know you're not married, but I know you're divorced. I've seen you going through you had just finished going through the divorce. I why are you hiding me? And he just that's it. I I don't know what I want. I'm I'm I don't I gotta figure things out. I have a lot I went through a very traumatic divorce. I'm always busy pillar to post and circling a drain, and I don't know if I can have a relationship in my life at this time with everything else. Devastated.

SPEAKER_01: 17:44

Devastated. Of course, a couple weeks later, comes back and wants to pick back up where things went off and left off and Lori, when he came when he came back, what was his reasoning?

SPEAKER_00: 17:59

Like I made a mistake, what what did he say?

SPEAKER_01: 18:06

I missed you.

SPEAKER_03: 18:09

I'm sorry. I have a lot on my plate, I have a lot I gotta think about. We just need to go slow. Um you just have to you have to quit being so um pushy, and he would call me um tenacious, that I wouldn't let things rest. You gotta lay off about wanting to meet my daughters and my family, and it'll work. And I literally would have to and I'm like, listen, I'm not an alpha person. I I just I I didn't I felt horrible that I was always asking for too much as far as as how they're really and so um, but that was always an underlying issue, was that I just I never had I I just I hated that he just never wanted to include me because family is so important to me. Right. And wanting to meet his mother and to meet his daughters broke my heart that I was never allowed, and I I couldn't figure out why. I I could not figure out what I was doing wrong.

SPEAKER_00: 19:26

Right. So I think of Tenacious, I thought that was a positive word. But anyways, um I did too. I I am what do I know? What do I know? Um okay, so Lori, really, you were the pinnacle of all this uh unraveling. Um okay, so he comes back, and if we can just fast forward to maybe after you guys are dating and he's still like telling you to lay off, what happened?

SPEAKER_03: 19:58

So we're gonna fast forward four years whoa four years of dating uh some was this exclusively so four years of exclusively dating yes he you know like Stephanie when I was with somebody the guy I I was so in love with him he was he was starting to get sick towards the end of the relationship um it was starting to take a toll on on me that he was always all of a sudden sick all the time work was taking too much time uh it was always work he always had to take care of his daughters um you know their their mother doesn't do anything so I have to step in and be this father and I had to take care of everything and I had to take care of everything at work so I'm so busy and now it's making me physically sick and I have this issue and I was starting to notice though I mean it was constantly when we go out to dinner he would just start like he was going to pass out his eyes would roll behind his head he was starting to just sweat all the time he just it wasn't it wasn't fun and he you know and the last couple of times before I saw him you know we were trying to plan to go on a cruise and I'm making plans we're looking at dates we're looking at what cruise line da da da let me feel better and as soon as I feel better we're gonna go on that cruise as soon as I get this filled as soon as this grant is done we're gonna go on this cruise and I just was like oh my God everything always just seems to be getting in the way why can't we just make a flipping date and let's go I I can't keep holding on and and I gotta put money down on on on a reservation so that leads me to um last January and um my I I had a uh a a pug and she unexpectedly passed away and I was heartbroken beyond heartbroken and I called him and I sent him a text and I said please I really need to see you I can't I can't function the love of my life had just died let's do something and he said I'm not feeling good he texted me I'm not feeling good let me rest on Saturday and then Sunday let's get together and and we'll do something okay that sounds good um Saturday that Saturday morning um I text him and I said um hey how are you feeling hope you're feeling better I'm gonna go run to the store I'm taking one of my son's friends with me I'm gonna take her out to lunch and go to the store and I just want to check on you before I leave don't hear from him. He was really bad about not responding to text I mean I I could I could fill 10 hours of of how I would have to constantly where are you where are you? If you don't answer me I'm going to go start checking hospitals where are you? I'm busy with my daughters or I'm out on the field. You know I can't take calls when I'm out in the field whatever um that Saturday afternoon um we go to this restaurant um with my my young friend and I pull the parking lot and I see his car. Now mind you I never go to this restaurant ever very rarely it's a nice restaurant I just it's not one of the places I normally go to I knew that he would go every once in a while but it's just not one of nothing it was just kind of always out of my way to go there. And I looked at my friend I said oh my gosh I wonder if he's feeling better or you know what I bet his daughters are there and they decided to take dad out of the house for a little bit and and feel better. And you get to meet him how excited I'm so excited I I get to bump into him.

SPEAKER_00: 24:31

I hope he's with his daughters I was so excited I um walk in the restaurant and he is sitting at a table between his mother whom I knew was his mother from pictures and everything and another young woman I have no idea who this other woman is I'm assuming maybe it's a friend of his mom's a relative I don't know who she is mind you I've always asked are we dating are you dating anyone else I've never dated anyone else when do I have time I'm busier pillow to post I don't have time to date anybody else you know you're the only person I am seeing Lori let me so when you saw that did you automatically think oh my God he's with another woman or were you like oh may you know where did your mind go when you saw it?

SPEAKER_03: 25:34

No I thought maybe she was uh his brother's daughter a niece a relative a friend of the family's never never ever that was she was a lot younger how would I I just assumed it was maybe a niece or something walked up to the table said hey what are you doing and he looked at me like he didn't know me goes nothing I'm like um but what are you doing here? He goes eating and I was like taken back I was like what the hell why would he talk to me so rude? What the hell is going on? They sit us at a table behind him ironically and um all of a sudden his mother goes to the restroom and I see this other woman sitting next to him again I thought she was some young girl she had her hair in a ponytail on the side she's wearing jeans with rhinestones on I thought she was some young girl I'm I'm joking I mean she thought she was like some 20 year old girl anyway she starts rubbing his back oh uh no wait Lori after he said I'm eating I'm this and that you just were like uh I'm texting him sitting behind him going what the fuck but you went but you went to another table you just went okay and then just went to the other table and then you're seeing all of this I'm I'm still confused I'm going maybe he just doesn't want mom he wasn't ready for mom to know about this woman that he'd been dating even though he told me he told her about me right listen it listen I wasn't like I was so confused. Right I see this young girl yeah go ahead I I was just so confused I was I was like very just I was like what I I had no idea what was going on so I see her starting to rub his back and I went uh uh so I walk I got up I walked over to the table I looked at them and I said what the fuck is going on and who is this oh wow and he said we need to go outside and talk and I said yeah we do so we walk outside we're standing in the back kind of the restaurant they have like outdoor seating and we're standing right there I was like who is that he said she's my nurse that we hired to help take care of me and she's taking my pulse I said on your back your pulse is on your back I said I'm not that big of an idiot I was like seriously who the fuck is this and he won't answer me and he he goes can we discuss this tonight and I went no we're not gonna discuss this tonight after four years who the fuck is that and why is she touching you exactly and he won't answer and he's staring at me and staring and I can see and I went oh god I knew it his I you could see it turning he was looking for answers and he finally just said I've been seeing her since I've been sick and my first thought was how the fuck long have you been sick and I looked at him and I went you son of a bitch fuck you and he yells at me come back here and I went leave me the fuck alone I'm hysterical I walk back in the building he takes off I don't know where he goes to I see my friend sitting at our table and I give her my debit card and I said hey we gotta go pay this meet me in the car and I I walk by by this point his mom comes so this young lady and I say young and her and his mom are still sitting at the table and I walk over and I said I don't know who you are but I've been dating him for 40 years. Oh wow so fuck off and I leave I walk to the car as I'm walking to my car I see the sheriffs pull around so the sheriff he calls the sheriff because I caught him right thank god I get in the car I didn't even acknowledge this at this point my friend that was with me was the one who told me that they were kind of following me until I took off I'm hysterical hysterical like in shock that my whole world my whole world fell apart in a matter of minutes of this man that I loved with all my heart I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him I was looking at everything I'd ever loved I put into this man we drove home so through social media I decided to go on social media and put his picture out there with a red flag in his picture and it actually made my stomach hurt to do that because he had always told me don't you put me on social media don't you put me on social media and I was like at this point what do I have to lose I could care less if anybody sees my connection to him and I put his name and I put a red flag and then I met Stephanie Dun dun dungeon